Tattered Musings
by Kyonarai
Summary: My collection of Hellsing drabbles. Mostly unconnected. Some in Anime, some in Manga, and some in AU. Multiple pairings. Mostly AxI, AxS, or IxAxS.
1. Intimidating

A/N: So this is kinda wordy, and has no real POV, which is a known issue, but it was floating around my head so I just plunked it down to get it out. The lack of scenery description is intentional, as it was meant to just be dialogue. An intended reprimand devolves into an interesting conversation between master and servant. Alucard's used to getting women just by being seductive and powerful, and Seras needs a little more than that.

Integra Hellsing chewed restlessly on the end of a cigar as she regarded the creature before her with sharp, reprimanding eyes. The no life king, for his part, sat smugly reclined in the chair opposite his master's desk, with all the casual grace of a fattened housecat, grinning madly at the fond memories of his canary dinner.

A few minutes of tense silence passed before the woman spoke.

"Alucard, Walter tells me you have been harassing our employees again." She stated coolly.

A deranged chuckle slipped from the beast's lips. "Harassing is hardly the correct term, Master. Toying would be more appropriate."

"Regardless of the semantics, I believe we can both agree that you were partaking in an inappropriate behavior that you have previously been warned against. Am I wrong?" Integra's eyes glistened like blue steel.

A glint of humor appeared in the vampire's crimson gaze. "Perhaps not. But in this particular case, I do believe the semantics are quite important. For you see, I can recall being warned against a number of things, in regards to your employees. Frightening, dismembering, hunting, eating; the list goes on and on. This time, I was merely dallying. Surely that's not a crime?"

Integra gave an exasperated snort. "Alucard, you were stalking the maids."

"Observing." He injected.

"Regardless of the term," She bit out. "It is still inappropriate. They cannot do their jobs with you leering at them."

"That is not my problem." He stated.

"But it is my problem, as is your behavior. Please refrain from such activities in the future."

Alucard let out a long suffered, and much unnecessary sigh. "As if the mercenaries are any better. I suppose I am permitted even from being a man now."

"You aren't a man, Alucard. You're a monster. You've told me such yourself." Integra pointed out.

"A male then." He sneered grouchily.

"Walter tells me that even that may have been in question at one point." Integra stated smugly.

"That was merely an interesting change of perspective. Born of convenience I assure you." He commented in dismissal.

"Perhaps you should harass your fledgling, instead of my maids." Integra tried again.

Alucard actually laughed at that one. "I am quite sure that the poor thing would faint at the mere prospect; virgin sensibilities and all. But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Master?"

"Enough of your sass, Alucard." Integra commented dryly. However, the master vampire continued on as if he hadn't heard her.

"Apparently I am intimidating. Who would have thought?" He sneered in sarcasm. "My darling draculina makes the oddest strangled squeak and scurries away like a frightened mouse at the slightest innuendo from me, but those geese can leer at her all day and she pays them no mind."

"Perhaps she realizes they aren't serious." Integra offered.

"Some of them are. Quite the naughty little fantasies they have." He grinned at her.

"That is not surprising. Perhaps then it is the fact that they are merely mortal men, and she feels no danger from them. You could certainly hurt her if you had the mind to."

"Correct, but I don't." He said.

"You may need to make that more clear." Integra pointed out.

"I haven't dismembered her." Alucard grouched.

"Restraint, however appreciated, is not the most obvious form of expression. I highly doubt that simply not maiming her is enough to develop trust in you." Integra said.

"She trusts me with her life." He said.

Integra regarded him with a calm, measured expression. "Life, heart, and body are all different things, especially to a woman. And in her case, I'd imagine the last two are closely tied."

"Once upon a time, things weren't so complicated." He mused, gazing up at the ceiling.

"Ah, but we are in a new age, Count. Though what Seras seeks is not so different. I believe it has been yearned for all along."

A strange glint played across crimson eyes as he eyed her again. "By even you, Master?"

Integra took a long draw of her cigar, waving a hand in dismissal. "I have no patience for such frivolities. The police girl, however, deserves some semblance of the emotion in her death, I think. Seeing how it seems life was hell bent to deny her of it."

"You may be correct there, my master. Indeed you have given me much to think about." He intoned thoughtfully.

"Good. You can spend more time thinking and less time stalking my maids." She said briskly, sitting up in her seat.

"As you wish, my master." He grinned darkly.

"You are dismissed, servant." She ordered.

"Yes, Master." He gave her a nod and rose lazily, before exiting through the nearest wall.


	2. Incorruptible

A/N: Hopefully, the grammar in this isn't too terrible, for having been written at 5am. I really do love this piece though. A touch dramatic, perhaps, but fun nonetheless. I had originally intended to take it a slightly different direction, but Alucard's character is rather unyielding, and this came out instead. This is set in the manga verse. Alucard's POV during the 30 years he spent killing all excess souls within him.

Incorruptible

Madness. It was everything. It was nothing. It trickled around it's addled mind like a merry jingle, chuckling with so much deceptive innocence. Blinding colors and broken memories swirled like so many motes of dust, clouding it's vision as it cut a swath through screaming souls. It couldn't afford to be stuck here, swirling in this madness. It had purpose.

He! _He_ had purpose! Purpose? How? What? When? Why? Why this endless fight? The souls screamed at him accusingly, but he could not remember. All he could manage was destruction. He destroyed those screaming, writhing faces for their audacity, for the very notion that they might keep him from them! Them? His mind reeled, drenching itself in the cloud of madness. Them? He needed them. Needed to return…somewhere? Anywhere? Nowhere? Who?

His. His them. They…were his. Images flashed again. Darkness and light. Cold life, and warm death. The very opposites of each other, but oh so alike where it mattered. So lost in a sea of red and blackness, he continued to destroy, to fight, for them. Soul after soul was purged from his eternity in his swath of fury, of longing, of aching.

Of remembering. Blue eyes. Two sets of blue eyes shone at him, beckoning, driving him onward. In time, their faces followed. A thousand shattered memories knit themselves together as he continued on his warpath through eternity. One by one, they clicked into place. Yes his, his virgins. His eternal maidens. One of iron and another of silver. One hard and unyielding to all, the other soft to most, but burning to those she opposed.

Determination swept through him. He had to hurry. His Iron was not immune to the time he could no longer sense; no longer feel pass in this world of dark. His Silver might not forgive him. Fury swelled at the prospect of their disapproval, and more souls fell. Vanished, consumed, expelled. Purged by the fires of his damned soul.

He…he _was_ damned, wasn't he? He remembered that much now. Memories became sharper as the cloud of souls thinned. Each vanquished foe was a tatter of memory he'd reclaimed. The rest brushed seductively against his addled mind, beckoning him to destroy, to reclaim them too.

He was…Vlad? A boy clutching a cross; a man in stone walls; on bloody battlefields. Corpses lofted towards the heavens on thin rods. A man remade with the blood of his homeland.

He was…Dracula? Cold mountains and a drafty castle. Time, so much time. Bats and wolves and blood. Various women; dalliances and prey; minor amusements. And then…Mina. Forbidden fruit that was to be his downfall.

He was…Alucard! Broken like a beast of burden and forced into servitude. From king to pawn, master to servant. It was fitting that his very name be reversed as well. That was what the men said. But the men died. They bound him and they died. He rotted away until Iron arrived.

Iron. A little girl with bright blue eyes, so filled with determination. A woman of pure, steel edged resolve, and the fury of a thousand hells to be cast upon her enemies. A woman with no time for compassion, though she'd felt each soldier's death like a nail in her own heart. Yes, no time for compassion, and no time for humanity, only justice. Vengeance. _In the name of god, __impure souls__ of the __living__dead__ shall be banished into eternal damnation, Amen._

He had fought for her. Was still fighting for her, when he brought sweet Silver home to join them.

Silver. Blue eyes again. Full of fear. Full of resolve. Refusing to submit until the last. Even surround by the rotting, walking dead, there was no resignation for her fate. She simply fought, fought until he had stepped out of the night to save her. To _damn_ her. She reached out to grasp his darkness, his damnation, of her own accord, following him willing into a world of dark, where one of such light had no place walking. She followed him anyways, through her fears and tears of agony, all the while clinging to the light. _I felt like…if I drank the blood, I would have lost something important._

Iron and Silver: his lovely maidens. A lazy purr of contentment flitted through his mind, even as his soul continued to wage war on those that kept him in this broken reality. They were both so pure, in their own way. Both virgins. Utterly incorruptible. He liked them that way. Perhaps, one day, he might persuade Iron to join him in walking the night, or persuade Silver to abandon her humanity. But even if neither should occur, he was content with them. One would perish and fade to dust, but he would hold her memory forever within his soul. The other would live on and on, and perhaps one day she might forgive him for her broken humanity.

Either way, those blue eyes were forever tattooed upon his soul. The memory of them was incorruptible. And so as the cloud thinned down to one soul, screaming louder than the rest, it was no trouble to dominate it to his will. To stitch the soul to his own in a manner it could never hope to escape from.

And then, he was everywhere, and he was nowhere, and he'd been gone for far too long. It was time to return to Iron and Silver. Integra would berate him and Seras would beam, and then all would be right within his universe.


	3. Incredibly silly

a/n: You guys are going to have to forgive me for this one, because it's OOC and unspeakably silly. Sort of a goofy take on the whole 'Integra picks a human husband and the vampires are jealous' cliché. I'm calling it anime set, especially since Seras is so whiny(on purpose, I know she's smarter than that, I'm just playing around). And yes, Seras and Alucard are on the same side here, I mean, they just totally don't get why Integra wont have a threesome with them(Ah, don't shoot me! I _told_ you I was being silly!) Anyways, it's a set of three drabbles, where I was practicing with word count constraints. They are one hundred, three hundred, and seven hundred words respectively. Enjoy!

Alucard growled to himself, frustrated beyond belief at the events before his eyes. Or above his head rather. His master had brought home one of those round table sops the queen had the nerve to call knights. If it weren't bad enough having such filth in his home, there was the fact that his master was _flirting_ with the bastard.

Really, of all the things? His master? Flirting? How ridiculous. But that was exactly what she was doing. Flouncing about the men folk in search of a mate.

He snorted, resuming his growl. What a perfectly _human_ thing to do.

* * *

Alucard glared at the back of a brown haired head, causing its owner to start and look around for the source of his unease. To no avail of course, for Alucard was well out of sight. He grinned smugly, only to have his fun ruined in an instant.

"Alucard. Basement. Now." Integra spoke calmly, taking a sip of her tea.

An audible growl reverberated through the air at his departure.

The angered vampire phased downstairs and into the police girl's room, throwing himself into an empty chair with ill grace.

The blond female vampire looked up from the magazine she was reading.

"Sir Integra with Tolgart again?" she questioned knowingly.

Alucard's irritable growl was all the response she needed.

Seras sighed gustily. "This is so stupid. What does she need that lout for anyways? She could just get artificial insemination if she wants a baby so badly! I already told her I would help her and stay up at night with the baby and everything!"

Alucard's rage was broken momentarily by the police girl's enthusiasm. "Told her that, did you?"

"Yes! And I even said I'd change all the dirty diapers!" She professed proudly.

"It's too bad she won't take you up on that offer. Or mine, for that matter." He said dejectedly.

"Damn right. And if she thinks for one second that my offer extends to that pig's offspring, she's delusional. Right bloody pervert he is. I caught him staring at my chest yesterday! And Sir wouldn't even _believe_ me when I tried to tell her." Seras let out a little growl of her own, entirely frustrated.

"Hmph, she's in for a rude awakening it seems." Alucard stated, not bothering to comment nearly every male in the mansion stared at her chest. Anything to help his case after all.

* * *

Seras jittered nervously, tugging at her skirt. "Master, are you sure it's okay to come here? What if Sir finds out?"

"Quiet police girl. We need to speak with the queen, and this is the fastest way to do it." He shushed her.

The two vampires were currently dressed in servant's attire, headed for the queen's personal study. The master vampire knocked sharply on the door, waiting for the queen's call to come in before he hastily pushed the police girl through the door and shut it quickly behind him.

"I was wondering what was taking so long with my tea." The queen said absently without looking up, currently absorbed in a book. A few moments of silence passed before the queen glanced up and let out a gasp.

"Alucard! What are you doing here? Where is Sir Integra?" She questioned.

Alucard knelt before the queen, grimacing at Seras, who tripped over herself to do the same. "My apologies, but my master is not with us at present."

"Well, what is your business then? Speak." She demanded impatiently.

"We are having…difficulties, at this present moment, with our master's choice of suitor." Alucard began, trying to decide how best to word his plight so as to gain sympathy with the woman. As it turned out, Seras was far more apt at whining, err, that is, getting sympathy. Right.

"Make him leave!" Seras cried suddenly. "The man is awful! I just can't stand it anymore. I refuse to work for hellsing if he stays!"

"Wait, slow down, what man?" The queen asked, obviously baffled by the crying draculina at her feet.

"T-t-tolgart!" Seras sniffed.

"Sir Tolgart? Samuel Tolgart? He's one of my knights." The queen blinked at her.

"The man is a disgrace." Alucard stated while the police girl continued to blubber. "Not at all worthy of our master! I demand that you have this imbecile removed at once."

The queen sighed good naturedly, musing to herself that the vampires were a bit like jealous hounds. "Alucard, surely you know that I can't forbid Sir Integra from dating."

"Why not? You're the queen!" Seras whined.

"Who needs to forbid anything? Send the bastard off to the front lines in a third world country for all I care. Or better yet, make her recind the order not to eat him." Alucard groused.

"Pray tell, what is so wrong with the man anyways?" The queen asked bemusedly.

"He's annoying." Said Alucard.

"And obnoxious." Said Seras.

"And a coward."

"And a pervert!"

"And a simpering fool."

"And a…jerk!" Seras exclaimed, running out of descriptive words.

"I can't possibly see what my master sees in him." Alucard griped.

"Why can't she just be happy with us?" Seras whined.

The queen sighed again, realizing that was the gist of the problem.

"Now see here, Integra is entitled to have any relationships she so desires. The woman has more than earned the right to start her own family, with all the time she's spent protecting others."

"But we can be her family! I told her I'd help take care of the baby if she wanted to do IVF or something." There were tears slipping into her eyes again.

"Seras, dear. There is more to a family than just children. The woman would do well with a husband. I doubt she wants to stay a virgin forever."

"But master could do that! His works!" Seras blurted, blushing as an after thought.

Alucard hastily cleared his throat to hide the chuckle that threatened to emerge, but didn't deny his police girl's claim.

Meanwhile, the queen's face had gone quite red, as she stammered, "I-I have no d-doubt. However! That is Sir Integra's business. Again, my answer is no. If you hate the man so much, you'll have to convince Integra of it yourselves. I'll have nothing more to do with this!" the queen said with finality, mustering of the rest of her dignity to shoo them out.

Outside the door, Seras slumped against the wall, sighing dejectedly. "Well that bites."

"I agree." Alucard said discontentedly. "I suppose we should head back to the mansion before our master becomes suspicious of our lateness."

"Yeah…" Seras grimaced. "I guess you're right, Master."

A/n2: See, silly. Although, I wouldn't mind elaborating on this theme if anyone actually likes these. It was just a idea that popped into my head while surfing youtube and wouldn't leave me be till I wrote it out.


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